Eeek…you probably hoped we would skip this area of expertise, weren’t you? Unfortunately, most couples have to confront whether or not they will be inviting your ex to your wedding. And with people waiting until later in life to be wed, the subject is much more common than you think. So we’ve spent some time digging through the advice of many and narrowed it down to the following considerations:
1.) What was your past relationship like? It doesn’t matter how important this person is, how much your family loves them, or what they think they may be entitled to. If this person treated you poorly. They absolutely don’t deserve a seat at your wedding. In addition, if your fiancé has spent years undoing the damage they have done. They will probably have an issue feeding them a $75 plate of food on your wedding day.
2.) How long were the two of you together? The length of time you were together can mean many things. If you were together for 8 years, you probably know each other well. In this case, the “No one knows Susan like Mark does” line in your Maid of Honor speech might cause everyone to shift slightly. On the other hand, if it was a casual thing and the two of you decided after a month that you were better off as friends, explain to your partner that it was a test trial and you’re very happy with the person you’re marrying.
3.) Would it be good for the kids? We all know kids are a sponge, so it’s incredibly important that they see Mom and Dad supportive of each other even though they are with different people. Seeing Dad supports your marriage to Dan will help them feel at ease with your new husband and do away with any bitter talking behind your back. If the two of you are on great speaking terms, it could be very beneficial for the kids to see what a mature, adult relationship looks like after a divorce. Remember, though, we said if the two of you are on great speaking terms.
4.) What does your fiancé think? This is not just your wedding. This is also your fiancé’s wedding, which means they get just as much say in the matter as you do. If your partner feels uncomfortable all night with your “first” sitting out in the lobby, you might want to consider leaving the invitation at home. After all, your future spouse’s happiness is one of your top priorities. Your ex will surely understand.
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