In this day and age it’s really not uncommon for people to be married more than once. It’s been proven time and time again that getting married before the age of 25 skyrockets your chance of divorce (don’t even get me going on the psychology of human brain development before 25 years old), so it’s perfect understandable that a generation of people that got married before 25 would get divorced and then find real love later on in life.

So that being said, let’s get to the fun stuff!

Your second (or third, or fourth) marriage doesn’t have to be exactly like your first wedding, nor does it have to be completely different. There are, however, a few tips you might want to keep in mind.

1.) Focus on this wedding. It can be easy to bring up your first wedding during wedding planning. “When Bob and I got married, we had these adorable little cupcakes…” But it’s not recommended. This should be about your current relationship, not past relationships. Plus, are you really going to take the “amazing” suggestion anyway? Chances are, if your future spouse and his ex had cupcakes at their wedding, you’re not going to want a cupcake near your venue.

2.) Wear what you want. For many women, the first time around was a compromise. They chose a wedding dress that their mother, sister, maid of honor all agreed on, even if it might not have been the dress you would have chosen. For your second wedding, do whatever you want! Screw the ballgown you weren’t crazy about the first time around, and go for a clean elegant white gown covered in lace or a short, blue dress with feathers. Yes I said blue. Or any color you could possibly want.

3.) Invite the right people. If you had reservations the first time around about inviting your sister-in-law because she makes everything about her and sure enough she showed up in white announcing her engagement, don’t feel bad about leaving her off the guest list this time. And if your mom just insists on inviting your childhood neighbors tell her too bad. No harm, no foul.

4.) Consider including your kids. If you happen to have kids during this time, think about including them in the ceremony. And not just as a flower girl or the best man, but in some of the rituals. A marriage between two people with children is not just about those two people coming together, it’s about the joining of two families. Letting your kids get involved will help them be more accepting of their new step-parent and/or siblings.

5.) Don’t stress. A wedding is a time for happiness, and since this is not your first wedding, consider the weight lifted. Many couples look back on their big day and wish they would’ve slowed down and enjoyed it a little more instead of being worried about if their guests are enjoying their choice of music or not. So on this round, have a good time and appreciate how lucky you are to have found the love of your life.

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